Invidia
by surena-13
Summary: Prompt: One of them is having a difficult time managing her jealousy. Brenda/Sharon


Much to Brenda's annoyance, Sharon merely raised an eyebrow when she opened the door and saw her standing there. There was no smile, no eyes raking over her body or lingering on her mouth as if the captain had to force herself to not kiss her, not even a little recognition that she was happy to see her. There was just a cold look with a hint of surprise and irritation, but despite all of that, Sharon still gestured for her to come inside. Rusty was probably out then.

"What are you doing here, Brenda Leigh? We have a specific arrangement for a reason." Her voice was sharp, distant, definitely not the warm, sultry, inviting tone Brenda had come to expect from her, the one she usually had when Brenda came over. Sharon was more than a little angry that had shown up without calling first; one of Sharon's rules when they had started this affair, probably to prevent situations like this from happening.

She followed Sharon into the condo, watching the woman's hips sway underneath the tight dark red fabric of her dress, the piece of clothing that was cut a little more daring, a little more revealing, the split on the side a little higher than the dresses she wore to work. Brenda bit her bottom lip as she observed her. Sharon looked beautiful, even when she turned around, her arms crossed in front of her chest, a sneer on her face, her bare foot tapping impatiently on the hardwood floor as she waited for an answer.

For a moment Brenda debated lying to Sharon, to tell her she missed her, that she wanted her, but Sharon knew her well enough by now to see through her lies. Sharon could always tell when she was lying despite the years of training Brenda had received to be one of the best liars in the country. The temptation to deny the truth was large, but she didn't want to make Sharon angrier than necessary.

"I saw you. With her," Brenda admitted through gritted teeth. Sharon narrowed her eyes behind her glasses and pursed her lips, her anger suddenly a lot more apparent. For a second Brenda suspected that Sharon might yell at her, but instead she simply walked into her kitchen without a word and poured herself a glass of wine, not bothering to offer one to Brenda, her movements too controlled and measured, the set in her shoulders tense.

"Did you follow me?" Sharon asked, her voice eerily calm, after she had taken a large gulp of wine. Brenda didn't miss the incredibly cold tone, the underlying threat if her answer didn't please Sharon. For someone whom Brenda had made more times than she cared to count, Sharon could be incredibly intimidating and downright scary.

"No. No! I was just drivin' and I saw you and her, Andrea. I saw you kissin' her." She truly hadn't been following Sharon, she wasn't that paranoid. She had driving around, avoiding going home to Fritz when by chance she had recognized Sharon's car parked in a neighborhood where the captain didn't live. Curiosity had gotten the better of her and she had waited until Sharon had appeared, her arms wrapped around a far too familiar blonde.

The dull pain in her chest she had felt had been nothing compared to the metaphorical knife that had been planted firmly in her gut when Sharon had kissed Andrea Hobbs, had kissed her like she meant it, hands on her waist, on her ass, tongues no doubt meeting. It had hurt to witness that, a lot more than Brenda could have imagined. Sharon, however seemed utterly unimpressed by her response.

"And your point is?"

"Are you seein' her?" she asked sharply. Sharon rolled her eyes and sipped her wine. It almost felt as if they were back in that hospital where they had first met when Brenda had decided to dislike the woman from the first second and Sharon hadn't even blinked at Brenda's rather appalling treatment, simply walking away from her as if she were better than everybody else. She was showing that same superior attitude now, like none of Brenda's words bothered her. It was infuriating. It set her teeth on edge to be treated like this again.

"No, Brenda, I make it habit of sticking my tongue down all my blond female co-workers' throats, didn't you know that? Of course I'm seeing her." Sharon snapped, her never-ending patience wearing a little thin. Brenda's shoulders slumped. Of course she was seeing Andrea. It almost made sense, but that didn't stop it from hurting. Sharon seemed to notice her reaction and deflated a little, her voice a little softer when she spoke again. "You can't expect me stop my life for you, for something that will never go anywhere."

"I'm not," Brenda managed. To be quite honest, she hadn't even considered Sharon seeing anyone beside her. She simply didn't seem the type to have sex with one woman and date another. She had never seemed like the type of woman to become 'the other woman' either and yet she had proved that that had been a misconception when Sharon had kissed her and then invited her home to her bed, starting something that had gone on longer than either of them would have predicted.

Sharon dating someone, especially someone as beautiful, smart and single as Andrea Hobbs, it hit a sensitive spot, one that Brenda had no idea even existed. Sharon was a mistake, a mistake she kept repeating, a mistake that had slowly evolved into an addiction (even if she kept firmly denying that rather recent discovery), but a mistake nonetheless. It shouldn't feel this awful to find out that Sharon dated people that without a doubt were more deserving of her attention than Brenda, and yet it did.

"Don't lie to me. It's exactly what you expect from me. You want me all to yourself even though you're married and do not plan to ever leave your husband." The captain refilled her empty glass and cocked her hips, leaning against the bar, an eyebrow raised as if to challenge Brenda to contradict her statement, but Brenda didn't even bother to come up with a decent enough lie. Sharon was painfully right. She didn't want to leave Fritz, she loved him, but she didn't want to stop seeing Sharon either. She needed their clandestine meetings in hotels, their few stolen hours here and there. She loved Fritz, but it was only in Sharon's presence that she felt truly alive.

"Does Hobbs know?" Brenda asked, hoping to slip the change of subject past Sharon without a reprimand. The slight tilt of Sharon's chin told Brenda that she definitely noticed what Brenda was trying to do, but she allowed it to happen.

"She knows I'm seeing someone else. She also knows that if our relationship ever becomes serious, I have no qualms about stopping any other…romantic involvements." Sharon vaguely gestured between the two of them and Brenda felt her stomach drop. Sharon dating Hobbs, she could learn to be find with that idea, but Sharon ending their affair, she didn't want that. She didn't want that all.

"You would stop...?"

"Sleeping with you to be in an actual relationship that could make me happy? Yes." Sharon words felt like a slap in the face, even if they didn't come as much of a surprise. It only made sense that Sharon would stop a reckless affair with no future to be in an actual relationship and Brenda could understand that while Sharon could play the part of the other woman, she would never cheat on a loved one herself. However that didn't meant that Brenda had to like it though. And she didn't like it, not one bit.

With just two steps she had closed the distance between them. Sharon didn't move, didn't even blink at her action. She simply stood there, waiting for her next move. Without a second thought, Brenda buried her hands in Sharon's thick hair and captured her lips in an anything but soft kiss. For a moment Sharon was unresponsive, one hand on her hip, the other holding her wineglass, but then she let out the smallest of whimpers and with unceremoniously placed her glass on the granite top of the bar before grabbing Brenda's waist and yanking her closer, crushing their bodies together.

She couldn't help but moan when Sharon kissed her back, her tongue finding its way into her mouth, the brunette's hands sliding down until they were firmly cupping her ass, squeezing the soft flesh. Brenda tightened her hold on Sharon's hair. She almost gasped when Sharon started moving them, suddenly slamming Brenda against the wall, knocking a painting of its nail in the process. It fell to the floor, shattering the glass, but Sharon didn't seem to care, she just grabbed Brenda's wrists and forced her hands between Brenda's back and the wall.

"Jealousy doesn't become you, Brenda Leigh," Sharon whispered against her lips, her grip on Brenda's wrists tight. To struggle would be pointless. Sharon looked almost dangerous, her hair mussed, her eyes shining and alive behind her glasses, her carefully reapplied lipstick after her make-out session with Andrea Hobbs was smudged and her smirk was deadly. Brenda shivered and felt herself becoming aroused, a familiar heat settling between her thighs. "You don't have a right to be jealous. With the position you're in, you should feel lucky to even have a part of me at all."

"I just don't want to share you. That's all," Brenda tried, her voice shaking as Sharon kissed her throat, her jaw, her cheek, before she wrapped her lips around Brenda's earlobe. Brenda's eyes fluttered shut as she got lost in the sensation of Sharon's tongue teasing her weak spot, causing her legs to tremble just a little. She nearly lost herself in the sensation of Sharon's body pressed against her own, causing her hands to itch with the need to touch her.

"It's not about what you want," Sharon said, her voice low and breathy, her lips caressing the shell of Brenda's ear as she rolled her hips against Brenda's. She hadn't come here for sex, but judging from the predatory look in Sharon's eyes, she wasn't leaving without Sharon fucking her hard, hard enough that she would still feel it tomorrow. She almost whimpered at the thought. She wanted that and she fervently hoped that it was what Sharon wanted as well. "For once, it's about what I want."

"And what do you want?" Brenda dared to ask, licking her lips before pouting just a tad for added effect, hoping that it might entice Sharon to kiss her again. She hated that Sharon was dating Andrea, but she hated being kept waiting even more, especially when she had to wait for something she suddenly desperately wanted. Sharon however just grinned, a gesture which is this case couldn't mean anything good. Her lips lightly brushed over Brenda's, not blinking, her nails digging into Brenda's skin.

"You, bent over my dining table begging me to make you come." Now Brenda did whimper, leaning forward when Sharon moved back, looking like a fool as she chased after a kiss she wasn't going to get. She nearly toppled over when Sharon suddenly released her and walked away from her, casually grabbing her wineglass before she turned around and leaned against the bar, eyebrow raised as she slowly dragged her eyes over Brenda's body. Brenda could feel herself blush. "So why are you still standing there?"

Brenda swallowed, her mouth suddenly unbearably dry. Sharon looked sinfully good and she was obviously aware of it, taking advantage of Brenda's blatant staring by leaning back a bit more, her breasts pushing forward, causing them strain against the red fabric, her split falling open to expose her thigh. She was showing Brenda exactly what she was and that none of it would ever belong to Brenda, no matter how much she craved it.

Her legs were trembling as she walked over to Sharon's excessively large dining table and she fervently hoped that Sharon couldn't see it. She could feel Sharon's eyes on the back of her head as she pushed the chair at the head of the table aside before placing her hands on the cold wood of the table. Brenda looked over her shoulder only to find Sharon looking at her somewhat expectantly as she sipped her wine. Slowly she sank down until her upper body was lying on top of the table, her hands beside her head.

She could feel how aroused she was, feel how much she wanted Sharon. The anticipation raised goose bumps on her skin. She heard Sharon walking over to her, tensed up when suddenly a wineglass was placed on the table right in her line of sight. Even when she could feel Sharon standing behind her, she tensed when she felt Sharon's fingers tracing her spine through her top and cardigan until her hand came to rest on her lower back.

Sharon's hands slid over her ass and down her legs only to go up again, this time under her skirt, her surprisingly cool palms caressing her the inside of her thighs. Brenda glanced back and when she couldn't see Sharon, deduced that the woman was crouching behind her, hooking her fingers into the waistband of her panties and slowly pulling them down her legs. Sharon helped Brenda step out of her underwear before she stood up again, dragging her nails over the back of Brenda's legs, simultaneously pulling her skirt up until she had fully exposed her.

Brenda's hands curled into fists and took a shaky breath. They had fooled around with power play before, the use of handcuffs, a few light bondage elements, but it had never quite felt like this. She wasn't even tied up, but she felt more out of control than ever, which was undoubtedly Sharon's point, even if they both knew that should Brenda decide to put a stop to it, Sharon would back off, but that was about the last thing Brenda wanted right now.

There was a feather light touch on her ass, Sharon's fingers slowly brushing over her skin until her hands came to rest on her hips. Brenda gasped when Sharon pulled her back until her ass came to rest against Sharon's groin, the fabric of her dress soft against her skin. It definitely was a position they had been in before. Brenda knew she was embarrassingly wet and she knew that she was staining Sharon's dress. The fact that the captain didn't seem to care that Brenda was ruining her few hundred dollar dress only turned her on more.

"You know, you almost make me want to go and get my strap-on," Sharon whispered, leaning over Brenda's body, her breasts grazing over Brenda's back, her breath hot against her neck. Brenda moaned involuntarily. The thought of the dark pink silicone toy that Sharon had mind-blowing skills with made her weak in the knees. When Sharon used her strap-on, there was only one word to describe what they were doing; fucking, pure unadulterated fucking. "But I think that tonight I'd prefer to use my fingers."

As if to punctuate her words, Sharon slipped her hand between their bodies, her fingers sliding over the crack of her ass and down until they teasingly circled her entrance. Brenda bit her bottom lip and stopped herself from moaning again. Sharon simply ran her fingers over her folds, her touch unbearably soft. She was barely touching her, fingers lightly circling her clit before easing up on the pressure again.

"You're so wet. Are you that needy? That desperate for me? Is this why you want me all to yourself?" Brenda groaned, attempting to shift her hips back, hoping that it would entice Sharon to stop teasing and to finally fuck her, but Sharon wouldn't have any of it. Brenda gasped when Sharon suddenly grabbed her hair with her free hand and yanked on it. Her head snapped up and her back arched, fingers sliding over the smooth surface of the table. "Answer me."

"Yes," Brenda choked before her mouth fell open, a moan stuck in her throat when Sharon easily slid two fingers inside her, aided by the surge of moisture caused by Sharon's tight grip on her hair. There was something just so hot about Sharon pulling on her hair while her fingers moved inside her. It was just so domineering, so controlling, which admittedly Brenda had hated when they had worked together, but during sex, it was her weakness.

"Yes, what?" Sharon drawled, setting a slow rhythm with her fingers, sliding them in and out at a steady pace, her hold on Brenda's blond curls not weakening. Brenda groaned, her eyes closing. Was this Sharon's way of interrogating? Because if it was, Brenda could completely understand why Major Crimes was doing so well under the guidance of a woman who had practically been tied to a desk for at least a decade. She would tell Sharon everything if it meant that the woman wouldn't stop.

"Yes, I'm desperate for you and I want you all to myself," she admitted, her voice strained. She couldn't see Sharon's face, but for some reason she knew that Sharon was wearing that cold superior smile that didn't reach her eyes and always made everyone feel very uncomfortable. The image of that particular expression vanished when she pulled her fingers out and entered her again with three. Brenda hissed, feeling the slight burn of stretching around Sharon's long fingers. Her eyes flew open when she felt Sharon's mouth on the back of neck, gently kissing her skin.

"Well, you can't have me." Sharon's voice was dangerously low, almost threatening. It made Brenda shiver for a whole different reason, but before she had any time to gather her thoughts, Sharon had released her hair and shoved her back onto the table. Brenda actually welcomed the cool wood, the stability it gave her as Sharon increased her rhythm, beginning to fuck her in all earnest. She had made her point and she was done playing.

Brenda was well aware of the fact that Sharon wasn't hers and that she couldn't have her, not when she wasn't going to leave Fritz, but she wanted her anyway. She always wanted what she couldn't have, but it was worse with Sharon, because with their affair, it gave her the illusion that there was the possibility that there was something there, something more than trust and sex, and that was so much worse than simply not being able to be with Sharon whenever she wanted. Now she knew that Sharon would leave her for someone who would be able to give as much they were willing to take.

She whimpered when Sharon moved her hand between Brenda's body and the table, her fingers seeking out her clit, applying much needed pressure. It was almost frightening how well Sharon knew her body. With just a few right wrist movements she had Brenda right at the edge, whimpering every time Sharon's fingers slid into her all the way to the knuckle. She was definitely going to feel this tomorrow when she sat down and she was going to relish the feeling.

Her nails scratched over the surface of the table. A low moan got stuck in her throat as she felt herself spiraling out of control as Sharon fucked her with determination. Through her haze, Brenda could hear Sharon, hear her laboured breathing, feel her dress against her skin, hear her barely audible moan when Brenda whispered her name and arched back into her touch. She felt just a little satisfaction knowing that Sharon was as turned on as she was.

Brenda's orgasm took her completely by surprise. She cried out, her muscles tensing up as she contracted around Sharon's fingers. She accidentally knocked over Sharon's wineglass, the liquid spilling over the table and the floor, the glass shattering as her orgasm coursed through her body. Collapsing on top of the table, grateful for the fact that her legs managed to hold her up, Brenda shuddered when Sharon extracted her fingers and quite against Brenda's expectations put her skirt back into place before taking a few steps back.

Brenda immediately noticed the lack of contact, missing Sharon's touch, the warmth of her body as she had leaned over her. She took a few steadying breaths, trying to calm herself down, to quell her sudden nerves before she stood up, turned around on shaky legs and found Sharon slowly licking her fingers, cleaning Brenda's come off her skin before she flashed Brenda that annoyingly attractive victorious smirk of hers. Even when she hadn't been, it looked like she had been fucked; her hair was tousled, her dress was wrinkled and had shifted to expose part of her bra and her skin was flushed.

She rolled her eyes and took a few steps forward, capturing Sharon's lips in a slow kiss, tasting her own arousal on Sharon's tongue as she moved her hands to come to rest on Sharon's ass before she slowly started to inch her dress up, exposing more soft skin as she went. She froze when Sharon grabbed her hands, pulled them away and broke the kiss.

"What's wrong?" Brenda asked when she noticed that the playful glint had disappeared from Sharon's eyes and she was stepping out of Brenda's arms, running a hand through her hair, straightening her dress. Brenda could only watch as Sharon slipped behind her captain Raydor mask. Brenda braced herself for what she knew was about to happen. The last traces of euphoria of her orgasm vanished.

"Nothing is wrong, but you should go home to agent Howard," Sharon said coolly before she picked Brenda's underwear off the floor and handed it to her. Brenda just stared at the piece of fabric in her hand. This felt surreal. It felt final. Sharon had gotten what she wanted and now it was time for Brenda to leave.

"What? What about you? I mean, what about us?"

"There is no us, Brenda. We fuck and you go home to your husband. That's all there is and that's all it will ever be," Sharon said curtly, trying her best to remain emotionless, but Brenda could detect the hint of anger, annoyance, even a bit of regret. It felt like they were breaking up, even if there was no actual relationship to speak of. Sharon had said that she wouldn't stop this affair until she'd get serious with Hobbs. This couldn't be the end, could it?

"Does that mean that we're through?" she asked softly, clenching her underwear tightly in her fist. This couldn't be over. She needed this. It was why she had followed Sharon after her date with Andrea as some jealous fool. Her moments with Sharon, those few nights, they kept her sane when she was stuck with a job she never wanted and in a marriage that failed to make her happy, even if she did love Fritz. The thought of seeing Sharon at the end of the day or during lunch, it was what made her get up in the morning, but she could never tell Sharon that.

"It means that the next time you get bored with your life and you call me, I'll answer, but I won't keep doing it forever. Now, please, go." The little tremor in Sharon's voice didn't go unnoticed, but she turned around before Brenda could say anything else, not that she knew what she should have said anyway. Dutifully she followed Sharon watched as she picked up Brenda's purse and opened her front door. Brenda opened her mouth to say something, anything, but she couldn't think of anything that would make this situation any better.

Wordlessly she grabbed her purse and looked at Sharon. This wasn't the end, that much was clear, but after more than two and a half years, Brenda knew that it was going to end some day soon and she knew that when it happened, she wasn't going to be ready, but she knew that Sharon would be and when that day came, she would have to accept it and move on.


End file.
